Oil on canvas, 11.8" x 11.8" (30 cm x 30 cm) (2026)
 
This painting is part 2/2 of another painting I made.

Part 1 of this project was more about how I felt when I saw or thought of this girl I used to love; Part 2 is about how I felt inside. "I'II wait for you" is what I told her, but really it felt like I was drowning underwater. When I was younger I used to have this fear of being inside lake water or deep ocean waters. It just felt so cold and dark depending where you were, and it would be so hard to tell how deep the waters were. The idea that there's all these foreign things around you that you can't see scared the shit out of me. Will she remember me? What if she finds someone else? All these questions would cause me to drown with anxiety, gasping for air. It would emulate that same feeling of being deep underwater.

Of course, these feelings don't last forever. As time goes on, we learn to swim. Although it's hard at first, we eventually will tread the waters and find the pieces that got lost on the way down. For me, I would finally swim to the surface, back into the light. It's funny because as an adult now, I actually enjoy these waters now. Once you learn to open your eyes the ocean water is very beautiful. "I'll wait for you" in this part is not about her, but the person who was always there for me.